I’m coming out … I want the world to know …
While I realize it’s not that big of a deal, it feels like a big deal. Since just before the election, I have begun posting my thoughts publicly regarding the current state of our nation, particularly the rise of Trumpism and how the American church has enabled it. To be clear, I recognize that my doing so is likely nothing more than a futile exercise of self-indulgence. After all, there’s nothing that makes me of any considerable importance and there are others far more articulate with better insight. Furthermore, social media is a cesspool of white noise and belligerence. Nevertheless, over the course of 20 years, I paid a lot of money for degrees and spent considerable time vocationally reflecting on matters impacting society, the church, and individuals. Perhaps I might contribute something of value … I’ll let the readers (if there are any) be the judge. To the extent that my reflections might help others process and/or feel less alone in a world gone mad, then I will consider it time well spent.
… but again, it feels like a big deal for anyone to say anything (after all, why bother?), but especially for me. Before I was a real estate agent, I was a pastor. And most pastors know to stay focused on “spiritual” matters lest they put themselves in harm’s way. The reasons why make sense … they don’t want to create unnecessary division the body of Christ (as if it isn’t divided already), they might lose parishioners who don’t share particular views, speaking definitely on complex matters outside of expertise isn’t wise, they don’t want to sound “those churches” endorsing candidates at risk of losing tax-exempt status … and most importantly, speaking up has to potential to get them fired. The best approach for a pastor is to stay in their lane; teach on doctrinal beliefs/spirituality, acts of personal morality, repentance of sin, encouragement towards charity/evangelism, maintaining faith in the midst of the struggles, and the hope of life everlasting … along with how bad the “culture” is, which plays extremely well. I “get” all the reasons for staying away from tough topics of a social/political nature … but I never felt entirely comfortable with this. It seemed conveniently safe and didn’t exactly jive with what I see in scripture/my academic background.
That background includes being mentored by a scholar named David Gushee who - after having been a professor at the graduate level - taught “Christian Ethics” to undergraduate buffoons like me. He was warm, thoughtful, challenging, and a bit edgy (at least by the standards of a Southern Baptist university) in that he cared about the role of the church in society beyond just culture-war hot topics (race, injustice, the environment, etc.). He also was deeply concerned with how the church cared for the marginalized, which stemmed from his research on the “righteous gentiles” who protected Jews during the Holocaust. It is his influence that continues to impact my thinking in ways that I can’t shake. I can’t unsee the disastrous effects of a German church that lost its very soul in service of nationalistic ends that were fundamentally evil. And so, while I may have shifted (or should I say, evolved) on a host of issues throughout my adulthood/pseudo-scholarship, I have remained consistent one point; an indistinguishable blend of “conservative” religion and “conservative” politics is riddled with problems and has the potential for grave consequences.
During my graduate studies, I began to embrace “Reformed” theology; a system that gained popularity during the mid-2000’s among those critical of baby-boomer religion perceived to lack substance. This brand of Christianity also resonated with my having gone through a period of personal rebellion as it emphasized the depth of human sinfulness and a robust understanding of God’s grace. To be sure, I felt tension between my undergraduate studies of “ethics” and a theological system highlighting notions of “total depravity.” However, with the operating themes of God’s radical love, forgiveness, compassion, grace, etc.; the humility of a God who became man in service to others; a view of God’s sovereignty over all of creation; a holistic understanding of all of life being service to God’s kingdom; and a covenant community with a shared beliefs/life, I believed “evangelicals” (a complicated term if there ever was one) could be a force for the common good in American society - beyond simply handing itself over to the Republican party. To be clear, that did not imply becoming a democrat. What I envisioned was a church where an individual’s commitment to Jesus would transcend allegiance to a political party … though, to be clear, still allowing for substantive disagreement on the role of government and policy recommendations.
After serving as a pastor for seven years in one congregation, I relocated to serve another congregation that seemed to be on the front lines of putting these themes into practice. Candidly, both the church and the denomination had a checkered history, particularly on the subject of race (the congregation was founded by segregationists to exclude African Americans). However, both institutions were publicly repenting of their past and seemed to be taking strides in a positive direction. What I did not realize until my arrival was the backlash that had been building. The leader whose vision I bought into was plotted against/pushed out resulting as a vocal group sought to ‘Make $%@ Great Again’ (Red hats were literally made and distributed by one elder). In my mind, it was no coincidence that my experience coincided with Trump coming down the escalator. Both uprisings felt driven by a populist impulse among those angry/fearful of cultural shifts and longing for some idealized past. Whether it was getting the church back to the days of Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, J. Gresham Machen, or John Calvin; or getting the country back to pre-Obama, pre-LBJ, or even pre-FDR, a mob was forming and ready for a fight. As a member of the pastoral staff, it was perilous times as one’s orthodoxy felt judged by being sufficiently hostile towards “liberals” (whatever that meant to the person using the term) lest you be labeled a “liberal.” This was definitely not what I signed up for.
Even still, I held on to hope that the better angels would eventually show up, especially in the political realm … after all, surely Christians wouldn’t support the literal embodiment of everything they are supposedly against for political gain, would they? However, as Trump gained momentum, it became painfully obvious that what really got so many conservative Christians excited wasn’t the gospel of Jesus and its implications, but rather someone who gave them permission to indulge their worse impulses … even if those impulses were in conflict with the teachings of Jesus. No matter what Trump did or said, a great number of Christians began to jump to his defense, embrace his spin, rationalize their support, and even took on his persona. While some speak of the ‘evangelical’ dilemma concerning Trump, the numbers simply don’t bear this out. Overwhelmingly, they supported him in 2016 … as they did in 2020 … as they did again in 2024. With each election, my belief that the church could transcend partisan allegiance and be a distinct people committed to Jesus for the common good died a slow death. As for me, I continued pastoring until 2019, but stepped away from ministry after six chaotic, disorienting, and exhausting years.
In making that transition, my desire was to feel the freedom to no longer care about these matters. After all, starting over vocationally would require a good bit of my time, energy, and brain power. But watching the Christian machine from the outside for the last six years, I can’t help but think of the frog in boiling water (i.e. throw a frog in cold water and gradually raise the temperature, they don’t notice vs. throw them into hot water and they jump out). Much of the American church has continued its slow boil towards radicalization that they themselves can’t see given their immersion in it. Time and time again, they are given off-ramps to stop defending the indefensible (a global pandemic that lacked strong leadership exacerbating our divisions; an election Trump sought to overturn culminating in 1/6; four years of toxic gaslighting, blame-shifting, undermining, insulting, etc.). And yet, time and time again, they have stuck with their “ride or die” taking the bait of his distractions, manipulations, and blatant bullshit. With Trump coming to power once again, I have come to the conclusion that I can’t not care.
Why do I care? To name a few reasons, I care because I love my country … and I believe that we were once the envy of the world not simply because of our military might and wealth, but because of our system of government and the ideals we’ve held. I care because I love my people … who are white, middle-class, small-town/suburban folks who I don’t like seeing duped and taken advantage of. I care because I believe there actually is such a thing as ‘truth’ and that not everything can be manipulated/reduced to perspective, agendas, spin, etc. I care because I believe character matters and want my sons to value integrity, decency, honesty, and compassion rather than believing success is found in lying, cheating, stealing, bullying, etc. I care because taking away the programs, rights, and benefits of those who need them to fund tax cuts for billionaires is morally reprehensible. I care because I because I still want to believe the church can do better than sell its birthrite to win a few culture-war issues but lose their soul in this process. I care because I don’t like seeing the bad guys win.
And so, while speaking up very well may be a fool’s errand, silence certainly isn’t accomplishing anything … So here goes. What I see is a nation on a suicide mission that will impact all of our lives in ways we can’t even imagine. We have democratically elected a populist demagogue with disdain for our values, our allies, our constitution, and our own people. We have a legislature full of cowards who have handed over their responsibility to be an equal branch of government choosing self-preservation over truth, decency, and the American way. We have a judiciary with more and more judges appointed by Trump who expects fealty to him over the rule of law and threats of impeachment of those who won’t support his agenda. We have a media that either serves as a mouthpiece for the administration or will be discredited, refused access, and threatened for telling the truth/not indulging his delusions. We have a cabinet with grossly incompetent syncopates with their only qualification being a willingness to tell how great the emperor’s clothes are. We have an opposition party that is completely feckless; unable to rise to the challenge of offering a compelling vision and building a broad coalition. We have an unelected bureaucrat overseeing a made-up agency tasked to dismantle the government. ‘We’ have a paramilitary who knows whatever nefarious acts committed on Trump’s behalf will be pardoned. We have a majority of the American public who thinks our greatness will be achieved through a man without one redeemable quality. We have a global economy dependent on the whims of a petty madman. Lastly, we have a ‘church’ hijacked by someone with the arrogance to put his vile name on scripture; who cultivates fear, hatred, and division among those claiming to follow Jesus; and who knows he has their blind allegiance provided he indulges their culture-war.
I don’t know how we get out of this mess as a nation. I truly don’t. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of hope at the moment (cue Bret Michaels singing “Something to Believe in”). As historians write about America in the 21st century, it seems likely they will tell of a country that destroyed itself, destabilized the world order, empowered evil tyrants, and enriched the few while the masses suffered. That, or some fictional tale of a hero named Donald Trump who saved his country through his nobility, selflessness, eloquence, wisdom, honesty, and bravery … in which case, the bad guys definitely won. Instead, on my good days, I imagine a scenario where the history books tell of a people of conscience who at the 11th hour saw evil for what it was and found the requisite courage to speak up … and those people begun to use their influence to persuade others to resist … and that nation embraced the concept of 'repentance’ as it saw its trajectory and chose to turn from its demise … and the country came together to stand against the one hellbent on dividing and conquering us. And as I imagine that story, I can’t help but smile … for in rejecting Trump, he would actually have accomplished his stated goal; to ‘Make America Great Again.’ That would be an amazing story. Longing for it is why I care and why I am bothering to speak up. Even if its worthless, it’s better than doing nothing.